The news from UCSF is good. Our transplant coordinator took the angiogram results into the meeting of the Board of Surgeons. They pronounced it good, and said they don't even need to see Gail again. The coordinator sent a letter to the insurance company telling them that the surgeons had approved her for transplant. So as soon as the insurance company acts, she'll be back on the list.
We are both thinking that we will get the call soon. Last night at church choir rehearsal, we were all going over the dates and call times for the next couple of weeks, and both of us feel like there is a good chance we won't be here for some portion of those services.
A very nice couple from back east visiting their son have been singing with us for the last month or so. They will leave to go back home after Christmas. Last night, they gave Gail a beautiful hand knitted prayer shawl to keep her warm. It was so sweet and thoughtful of them. We are so touched by the love and generosity people show us all the time.
And our friend Genevieve is undergoing her transplant while I am writing this post! Her sister donated a kidney to her, and her operation was scheduled for today! I thought of her first thing this morning, and have been thinking about her all day!
Our fingers are crossed for all of us!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Waiting for the surgeons
The cardiologist has faxed a copy of the outstanding angiogram to the Board of Surgeons at the Transplant Center. Our coordinator is giving the information to the surgeons this morning. We are hoping that the surgeons will recommend to the insurance company that Gail be reinstated on the active list. We are scheduled to see them again on January 7th, but we want her to be on the list between now and then.
The coordinator will call back today (hopefully) and let us know what they say.
The coordinator will call back today (hopefully) and let us know what they say.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Sleeping it off after the angiogram
Here's a photo of Gail right after the angiogram. Very peaceful and relieved.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Angiogram A OK
The doc just came in and told me that everything was fine. He didn't have to do anything! This is the best news we could have hoped for.
Hopefully this means that she will stay on the active transplant list through the holidays.
She slept for a while at the hospital, and we just got home.
OK, so far, I've gotten all my wishes. So I guess we get the transplant call tomorrow!
Hopefully this means that she will stay on the active transplant list through the holidays.
She slept for a while at the hospital, and we just got home.
OK, so far, I've gotten all my wishes. So I guess we get the transplant call tomorrow!
Angiogram
So things are a little bolloxed up. It has been a year since Gail started doing dialysis, since she got the cardiac catheter installed, and since she has been active on the transplant list. Now her insurance company is requiring her to undergo the same tests she did last year before they will authorize the transplant.
The only test she is worried about is the angiogram. When she had it last year, she had a little narrowing of one of the blood vessels in her heart and they did a minor balloon angioplasty. That kept her off the active transplant list for a couple of months, mainly because they used Plavix during the antioplasty. She also says that the angiogram was, if not painful, then at least uncomfortable. She remembers feeling the little tube thing moving around in her heart.
So tomorrow morning she is going in for the angiogram.
She is a little afraid of the discomfort. She is afraid that another year of being a diabetic may have done more damage to her heart. She is afraid that she will be off the transplant list for the two months which will include the end of December and the beginning of January, when more organs become available. Since we have already received one offer from the transplant center, it would be particularly hard to be taken off the active list now.
I am hopeful that everything will be fine tomorrow, that they won't have to do anything more than the angiogram, that we will be home tomorrow afternoon, and that they will call with a transplant on Tuesday.
Keep those thoughts and prayers coming!
The only test she is worried about is the angiogram. When she had it last year, she had a little narrowing of one of the blood vessels in her heart and they did a minor balloon angioplasty. That kept her off the active transplant list for a couple of months, mainly because they used Plavix during the antioplasty. She also says that the angiogram was, if not painful, then at least uncomfortable. She remembers feeling the little tube thing moving around in her heart.
So tomorrow morning she is going in for the angiogram.
She is a little afraid of the discomfort. She is afraid that another year of being a diabetic may have done more damage to her heart. She is afraid that she will be off the transplant list for the two months which will include the end of December and the beginning of January, when more organs become available. Since we have already received one offer from the transplant center, it would be particularly hard to be taken off the active list now.
I am hopeful that everything will be fine tomorrow, that they won't have to do anything more than the angiogram, that we will be home tomorrow afternoon, and that they will call with a transplant on Tuesday.
Keep those thoughts and prayers coming!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
She's tired
I came to pick her up after dialysis yesterday and got there about 35 minutes before she was done. She was fast asleep in her chair with her sweatshirt and her blanket over her. I left to get her a replacement pillow, and when I returned about 25 minutes later she was still asleep. She stayed asleep until her time was up and the buzzer went off.
She said it makes her feel like an invalid to wake up and see me there, but I like it. I feel like I am on guard, allowing her to safely rest. It feels very peaceful to me.
I have graduated. Now the nurses will let me stay near her chair while they take her off the machine. I guess they know that I'm not going to faint or do anything that would endanger her. I like that too. It's nice to be trusted.
She said it makes her feel like an invalid to wake up and see me there, but I like it. I feel like I am on guard, allowing her to safely rest. It feels very peaceful to me.
I have graduated. Now the nurses will let me stay near her chair while they take her off the machine. I guess they know that I'm not going to faint or do anything that would endanger her. I like that too. It's nice to be trusted.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Soon?
One of the nurses at Gail's dialysis center used to work on a pediatric transplant unit (think a moment about having THAT job!)
As she was taking Gail off the dialysis machine on Saturday, she told us that she thinks we will get called before the new year. As macabre as it is to talk about it, she said it was really evident that the number of organs available for transplant markedly increased during the holiday season. Probably related to increased drinking and driving.
We wish no one to come to harm, but people inevitably will. We only hope that those whose time has come will have already made the decision to donate their organs.
As she was taking Gail off the dialysis machine on Saturday, she told us that she thinks we will get called before the new year. As macabre as it is to talk about it, she said it was really evident that the number of organs available for transplant markedly increased during the holiday season. Probably related to increased drinking and driving.
We wish no one to come to harm, but people inevitably will. We only hope that those whose time has come will have already made the decision to donate their organs.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Feast of Christmas: 25 Years
We went to the 25th Anniversary of Music for the Feast of Christmas last night. It was a lovely concert and a lovely party afterwards. I have sung in the last 20 years worth of concerts, so it felt very strange to be sitting in the audience. Looking up at so many people we have known for so many years, Gail and I agreed that those people up there are our family.
They performed a number of pieces that I have sung in the past, and I was so proud of everyone for doing such a great job. Unless you have sat through a semester's worth of rehearsals, I don't think you can know how much work and effort and time and skill go into putting such a great concert together. I am reminded over and over what a consummate artist Cheryl is and why we would all walk over broken glass for her.
The Youth Chorus also performed in the concert, in honor of the 25th Anniversary, and they were terrific. At the party afterwards, a bunch of little girls in their concert finery were playing around on the dance floor in the middle of the room. I was MCing the party, and they just stayed there like a little mosh pit full of twittering blackbirds. They swirled around the floor following the microphone around as we interviewed long-time members of the chorus and sang Happy 80th Birthday to Iris. They they just hung on to Cheryl while she talked and thanked everyone. So we had 8 years olds and 80 years olds, and everyone was happy. Now that is a strong and vibrant community.
Driving home after the party, I asked Gail if she felt loved. She responded that she did indeed feel well and truly loved by so many people there. It made her feel very good. It was a lovely evening.
They performed a number of pieces that I have sung in the past, and I was so proud of everyone for doing such a great job. Unless you have sat through a semester's worth of rehearsals, I don't think you can know how much work and effort and time and skill go into putting such a great concert together. I am reminded over and over what a consummate artist Cheryl is and why we would all walk over broken glass for her.
The Youth Chorus also performed in the concert, in honor of the 25th Anniversary, and they were terrific. At the party afterwards, a bunch of little girls in their concert finery were playing around on the dance floor in the middle of the room. I was MCing the party, and they just stayed there like a little mosh pit full of twittering blackbirds. They swirled around the floor following the microphone around as we interviewed long-time members of the chorus and sang Happy 80th Birthday to Iris. They they just hung on to Cheryl while she talked and thanked everyone. So we had 8 years olds and 80 years olds, and everyone was happy. Now that is a strong and vibrant community.
Driving home after the party, I asked Gail if she felt loved. She responded that she did indeed feel well and truly loved by so many people there. It made her feel very good. It was a lovely evening.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Fortune Telling
Gail and I went to Thailand three or four years ago. We went there because we knew that she would probably be on dialysis at some point, and we wanted to visit some of the harder places before that happened.
On one of our last days there, we were at a Buddhist temple (Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep), and you could crawl on your knees to get a wooden stick with a number on it that would tell you your fortune. Gail declined the offer, but I shook up the little wooden container and chose my well-worn stick. I have had it posted on my wall at work since we got home. It says:
"Getting the last number, it's indicating the prosperity and dignity. You will be happy for ever and ever. Asking about your lover and legal case, please be confident that everything just goes better. You always be supported by benefactors."
Not that I believe in fortunes, but this one I think I'll go with. I am happy and my life is full of joy. I don't think I'll ever ask for another fortune, because this one works for me!
On one of our last days there, we were at a Buddhist temple (Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep), and you could crawl on your knees to get a wooden stick with a number on it that would tell you your fortune. Gail declined the offer, but I shook up the little wooden container and chose my well-worn stick. I have had it posted on my wall at work since we got home. It says:
"Getting the last number, it's indicating the prosperity and dignity. You will be happy for ever and ever. Asking about your lover and legal case, please be confident that everything just goes better. You always be supported by benefactors."
Not that I believe in fortunes, but this one I think I'll go with. I am happy and my life is full of joy. I don't think I'll ever ask for another fortune, because this one works for me!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Blood pressure
Gail gets dialysis at a center that is close to our house, so I have felt OK about letting her drive herself home when I can't pick her up because of rehearsal. But I like to pick her up when I can, mainly as a way of showing her I love her.
Usually she drops me off on her way to work, and I get someone to drop me off at the dialysis center after work. That way I can drive her car home. This Tuesday we didn't get it together, so I had my car at work. When the day was done, I left my car at work and got a ride to dialysis. She was very surprised to see me there, but I think she was glad for the company.
When she is finished with the dialysis, they always take her standing blood pressure one more time to be sure she is OK to go. It is supposed to be at least 100 for her to be released.
This time we couldn't get her blood pressure up. It started out in around 70 over 40, then moved up into the low 80s. She walked around, she drank some water, we mentioned George Bush. Nothing worked. Finally, at 84 over whatever, they let her go because she was asymptomatic. I'm not sure they would have let her go, or should have let her go, with that blood pressure if she were driving herself. She felt fine and probably would have been OK to drive, but I was really glad I was there anyway. It was just easier and safer for me to drive her.
When I can, I bring her a little sandwich or something to eat in the car after dialysis. She is often very hungry then, and she sits there and very methodically eats while I drive her home. If I don't have something in the car for her, by the time we get home she isn't hungry anymore.
It's amazing what you can incorporate into your life...
Usually she drops me off on her way to work, and I get someone to drop me off at the dialysis center after work. That way I can drive her car home. This Tuesday we didn't get it together, so I had my car at work. When the day was done, I left my car at work and got a ride to dialysis. She was very surprised to see me there, but I think she was glad for the company.
When she is finished with the dialysis, they always take her standing blood pressure one more time to be sure she is OK to go. It is supposed to be at least 100 for her to be released.
This time we couldn't get her blood pressure up. It started out in around 70 over 40, then moved up into the low 80s. She walked around, she drank some water, we mentioned George Bush. Nothing worked. Finally, at 84 over whatever, they let her go because she was asymptomatic. I'm not sure they would have let her go, or should have let her go, with that blood pressure if she were driving herself. She felt fine and probably would have been OK to drive, but I was really glad I was there anyway. It was just easier and safer for me to drive her.
When I can, I bring her a little sandwich or something to eat in the car after dialysis. She is often very hungry then, and she sits there and very methodically eats while I drive her home. If I don't have something in the car for her, by the time we get home she isn't hungry anymore.
It's amazing what you can incorporate into your life...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
She Did It!!
I wandered into the TV room last night where Gail was working on her novel, and I got there right at the moment she submitted her manuscript to NaNoWriMo! They accepted her novel, counted her words, verified that she had, indeed, written a not horrible novel of 50,000-plus words, and declared her a winner!! (Actually, they didn't verify that it was not horrible, but that assumption is part of their working premise.)
In case you're wondering, that is about 126 pages. Think Great Gatsby, or Old Man in the Sea. Not so much War and Peace (thank goodness!).
I'm so proud! And she is awfully proud and happy too!
In case you're wondering, that is about 126 pages. Think Great Gatsby, or Old Man in the Sea. Not so much War and Peace (thank goodness!).
I'm so proud! And she is awfully proud and happy too!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Exhaustion
I don't know why I was so tired today. I went to work, and then left to put together some banners at the church for the upcoming Symphonic Choir concert. Then I just went home and to bed for a long nap. I think I may still be tired from the excitement and let down from the false alarm.
If I get this tired from a false alarm, I'm scared to think how I'll do when the real thing happens.
Gail is finishing her first novel. Yes, she is. She signed up for NaNoWriMo; National Novel Writing Month, where you try your best to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. She has more than 45,000 words now, and I am sure she will make it.
She does a lot of the writing while she is at dialysis. I was kidding her that if she went in for the surgery, she should ask for an extension, just for the amount of time she was unconscious!
I think she needs to tell them her story when she submits her novel. Can't you see it now? Poor but plucky woman on dialysis three times a week, undaunted by her crippling illness, successfully completes her novel while she waits for the life-saving transplant! They'll love it!!!
Yes, I am getting the tiniest bit cynical, but it's still funny.
My only claim to fame is that I suggested she participate in NaNoWriMo. You can read more about it here!
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
If I get this tired from a false alarm, I'm scared to think how I'll do when the real thing happens.
Gail is finishing her first novel. Yes, she is. She signed up for NaNoWriMo; National Novel Writing Month, where you try your best to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. She has more than 45,000 words now, and I am sure she will make it.
She does a lot of the writing while she is at dialysis. I was kidding her that if she went in for the surgery, she should ask for an extension, just for the amount of time she was unconscious!
I think she needs to tell them her story when she submits her novel. Can't you see it now? Poor but plucky woman on dialysis three times a week, undaunted by her crippling illness, successfully completes her novel while she waits for the life-saving transplant! They'll love it!!!
Yes, I am getting the tiniest bit cynical, but it's still funny.
My only claim to fame is that I suggested she participate in NaNoWriMo. You can read more about it here!
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Blessing of the Animals
This was the day for the blessing of the animals at church. Tizi-n-Tichka were very good. They came up with us while we sang the anthem and they were very good while they got blessed. And we gave them some communion bread and juice too.
During the prayer I said that we had been called to SF for a transplant on Friday but it hadn't worked out. I asked for prayers for the person who had died and for the people who received the kidneys and other organs.
Gail said that the transplant people called the dialysis center even before they called us. In a funny way, we are minor players in this opera. It's the doctors and nurses and staff who are the real actors.
We just show up!
During the prayer I said that we had been called to SF for a transplant on Friday but it hadn't worked out. I asked for prayers for the person who had died and for the people who received the kidneys and other organs.
Gail said that the transplant people called the dialysis center even before they called us. In a funny way, we are minor players in this opera. It's the doctors and nurses and staff who are the real actors.
We just show up!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Aftermath
Today was a little hard after yesterday's false alarm. I think part of it is adrenaline hangover from the excitement and disappointment. We are both sad that the surgery didn't happen, but we felt very loved by our friends who were SO EXCITED!
As we were driving to UCSF, we were telling ourselves all the reasons why we were SO LUCKY to get called now!
1. We got to have Thanksgiving.
2. We still had three days of vacation left.
3. This is a slow time of work for both of us, but especially me.
4. The rest of her face would heal while she is in the hospital!
But it didn't work out that way.
So I guess our lucky day is still coming!!
As we were driving to UCSF, we were telling ourselves all the reasons why we were SO LUCKY to get called now!
1. We got to have Thanksgiving.
2. We still had three days of vacation left.
3. This is a slow time of work for both of us, but especially me.
4. The rest of her face would heal while she is in the hospital!
But it didn't work out that way.
So I guess our lucky day is still coming!!
Friday, November 23, 2007
False Alarm
Well, shoot!
We got everything ready, got loaded in the car, found a friend to come spend the night with the pups, got gas, got cash, drove to San Francisco, and then they called us with the bad news. The surgeon had arrived and examined the organs, and he determined that the pancreas wasn't good enough to transplant.
So we came back home.
But, we are, nonetheless, encouraged. Now we know for sure that Gail is actually at the top of the list and that she can indeed get called any day now. And we know that we can figure out how to get to San Francisco, so that is good, too. And we are willing to wait for a very good pancreas!
We consider this a practice run. Now we know for sure that it is going to happen!
Any day now!
We got everything ready, got loaded in the car, found a friend to come spend the night with the pups, got gas, got cash, drove to San Francisco, and then they called us with the bad news. The surgeon had arrived and examined the organs, and he determined that the pancreas wasn't good enough to transplant.
So we came back home.
But, we are, nonetheless, encouraged. Now we know for sure that Gail is actually at the top of the list and that she can indeed get called any day now. And we know that we can figure out how to get to San Francisco, so that is good, too. And we are willing to wait for a very good pancreas!
We consider this a practice run. Now we know for sure that it is going to happen!
Any day now!
The Call
Hey!!!
I guess David was right when he said it could be any time now, because they just called. We have repacked our little bags and we are headed to UCSF for the transplant!
We plan to get there around 3:00. The surgery will start about midnight. I don't know how much web access I will have, but I'll let you know how things are going as soon as I can!
We're a funny mixture of scared, excited, and determined.
Yikes!!
Dinah
I guess David was right when he said it could be any time now, because they just called. We have repacked our little bags and we are headed to UCSF for the transplant!
We plan to get there around 3:00. The surgery will start about midnight. I don't know how much web access I will have, but I'll let you know how things are going as soon as I can!
We're a funny mixture of scared, excited, and determined.
Yikes!!
Dinah
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Chocolate covered figs stuffed with ganache
Then last night I dipped the little stuffed figs into the chocolate. They were the most successful yet. A few of them were even tempered! Yay!!
Melting chocolate
Tuesday night, I made the ganache and prepared the figs. Then last night I stuffed the figs with the ganache and tempered the chocolate (patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue).
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Macbeth
Toni, Scott, Gail and I went to the opera on Sunday to hear Thomas Hampson sing Macbeth, and sing it he did. This was Toni and Scott's first big fat operatic tragedy, and they totally stepped up to the plate. Verdi's music was wonderful, Hampson was awe-inspiring, and the production was weird and distracting.
The opera had publicity out that Hampson would be available in the lobby after the opera to sign CDs. I stole from her office the photograph with Cheryl and him from 15 years ago and got him to autograph it to her. He was so nice and sweet. He laughed at the picture and said his wife wouldn't let him wear that tie now. What a gracious, gifted man he is.
Afterwards we stopped in El Granada at Cafe Gibralter, which was a fabulous as it was 4 or 5 years ago when Lynda took us there.
It was, all in all, about as perfect as a day could be.
The opera had publicity out that Hampson would be available in the lobby after the opera to sign CDs. I stole from her office the photograph with Cheryl and him from 15 years ago and got him to autograph it to her. He was so nice and sweet. He laughed at the picture and said his wife wouldn't let him wear that tie now. What a gracious, gifted man he is.
Afterwards we stopped in El Granada at Cafe Gibralter, which was a fabulous as it was 4 or 5 years ago when Lynda took us there.
It was, all in all, about as perfect as a day could be.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Boom!
Friday afternoon, I got a call from one of the wonderful women who work with Gail, which is always alarming.
Luckily, it was nothing serious. She and Gail had been at the Farmer's Market, and she had stepped into the bank for a minute. She told me, "Gail was standing up when I left her!" When she came back, Gail was bleeding profusely from her face. She had tripped on a little step and fallen face first to the pavement.
She really skinned up her face from her nose to her lip on the right side. Kind of looks like she is wearing half of a Charlie Chaplain mustache. She also has small scrapes at various places on her nose. It's really visible, poor thing. And it hurts.
And of course, this weekend, she had dialysis, went to a big birthday dinner with lots of people SAturday night, went to an Ensemble Monterey concert in Monterey, sang on the first row in church for a performance of the Handel Te Deum, went to San Francisco for the opera, and had dinner on the way home in Half Moon Bay. So it's not like she could hide in the house till she looked more presentable.
But she remained the trooper she is, and gamely went through her weekend, answering the inevitable questions.
I don't think the fall had anything to do with her other stuff. Doesn't appear to be related to diabetes or dialysis. She just tripped.
A reminder that life isn't fair. If life were even remotely tending towards slightly more fair, I would have fallen instead of her. Which I would gladly have done...
Luckily, it was nothing serious. She and Gail had been at the Farmer's Market, and she had stepped into the bank for a minute. She told me, "Gail was standing up when I left her!" When she came back, Gail was bleeding profusely from her face. She had tripped on a little step and fallen face first to the pavement.
She really skinned up her face from her nose to her lip on the right side. Kind of looks like she is wearing half of a Charlie Chaplain mustache. She also has small scrapes at various places on her nose. It's really visible, poor thing. And it hurts.
And of course, this weekend, she had dialysis, went to a big birthday dinner with lots of people SAturday night, went to an Ensemble Monterey concert in Monterey, sang on the first row in church for a performance of the Handel Te Deum, went to San Francisco for the opera, and had dinner on the way home in Half Moon Bay. So it's not like she could hide in the house till she looked more presentable.
But she remained the trooper she is, and gamely went through her weekend, answering the inevitable questions.
I don't think the fall had anything to do with her other stuff. Doesn't appear to be related to diabetes or dialysis. She just tripped.
A reminder that life isn't fair. If life were even remotely tending towards slightly more fair, I would have fallen instead of her. Which I would gladly have done...
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