Southern churches

OMFG
Originally uploaded by Afroswede

This is probably closer to the church I saw driving to Lorenzo. This church is in Arkansas, but they are all over the place down there. Having grown up with them, I actually have a fond spot in my heart for them.

Southern churches

The picture in the posting for Nov 16th was originally posted here but it got dropped.

That church is probably similar to the church I saw driving to Lorenzo. This church is in Arkansas, but they are all over the place down there. Having grown up with them, I actually have a fond spot in my heart for them.

Lorenzo

Lorenzo, Texas Water Tower
Originally uploaded by courthouselover

Any day now
When I was a kid, we would drive from Lubbock to my mom's hometown in Lorenzo almost every weekend. It's about a 20 mile drive through cotton fields and empty space. One time when we passed one of the region's ubiquitous churches, I started repeating "Jesus" to myself over and over. After a while, I woke up from a dozy stupor and realized that the syllables I was still repeating to myself had lost any meaning. I had to remind myself what those syllables referred to.

The phrase "any day now" is sort of like that now. We have been reassuring ourselves that the transplant call could come "any day now" for so long that the phrase has lost its meaning. We have to shake ourselves to remind us that it truly could be any day now.

Or not.

Sleep

Gail had a bad night last night. Insulin reaction around 3:00 am, so she stayed home this morning.

I on the other hand had stayed late trying to reconcile the Kids Choir accounts. Finally got them all balanced. Then played a computer marble game till I staggered to bed around 2:30.

Robin was still awake when I went to bed.

All of our sleeping patterns are disrupted.

Except the pups. They sleep anywhere, anytime. Good role models, not that any of us are learning anything from them.

War and Peace

I've been talking for years about wanting to read War and Peace, and I have finally started it. There is a new translation out and it has gotten very good reviews. So I bit the bullet started it last night.

Guess what? It's pretty funny. Sly and witty funny. Reminds me of Jane Austen. I never expected it to be funny. So there's hope.

I figure I can make good progress on it during Gail's eight to ten hour surgery. Unless I finish reading it before she even gets called. Now THAT would be depressing...

Wretched Robin, Ladies Dinah and Gail

Wretched Robin, Ladies Dinah and Gail
Originally uploaded by gr8what

Here we are dressed up in all our regalia! You can see how fabulous the dresses that Gail made are. Not to mention Robin's very fancy pirate shirt!

Pirates

Up this morning to church, where we all agreed that next year we would schedule a Jazz service the morning after Madrigal Dinner so we could all sleep in.

But the most fun part was that we found a stash of pirate eye patches so we all wore them when we processed into the sanctuary. It was really fun.

I'm sure we were the only church with a Pirate Choir this Sunday!

Madrigal Dinner

We had the Madrigal Dinner tonight, and it was a great success. It was set in 1492 in Barcelona, and had Christopher Columbus and pirates! I don't think very many madrigal dinners have pirates!

Today was a dialysis day, and I was waiting for Gail in the lobby while they were taking her off the machine. It took a long time, so I eventually wandered back in. Her blood pressure was low and they wouldn't let her leave. Finally it made it up to 97, and they let her go since I was driving.

I asked her what it was at first, and she said 54 over 37.

Yikes.

Usually when it is low, we start talking to her about George Bush and that gets it high again.

I guess he is good for something.

Nerd Alert

How nerdy can one person be?

I'm glad you asked!

You have undoubtedly heard of the Book of the Month Club, or the Wine of the Month Club.

Well, I am a proud member of the Pencil of the Month Club, and I paid up for the limited edition version as well. Trust me, it doesn't get any nerdier than that!

Every month I receive three or so pencils of various kinds. Some are novelty pencils. maybe a pencil from China made of recycled newspapers scented with pineapple. Or an orange Rhodia pencil. Or a triangular Mongol or a big fat red Mongol for kids. A pencil with the multiplication tables on it, or a California Republic Palamino, my favorite of them all.

I got a pencil holder with a magnet on it shaped like a musical note and two really cool pencil sharpeners.

The pencils are really fun, but I think what I like best is just knowing that something is coming for me in the mail and it will be a surprise.

You can be a pencil nerd too! Just go to

http://www.pencilthings.com/servlet/Detail?no=1031

Then you'll have at least one thing to look forward to every month!

It's the little things that keep us going!

Surrounded by Bad News

There is too much bad news in my little part of the world.

I have my friend Moony fighting her way back from myelodisplastic syndrome. My friend David fighting throat cancer. A couple of younger friends battling their addictions. A friend in her late 60's with 90 hard fought days sobriety who stopped smoking at the same time. A friend who has just finished her successful treatment for breast cancer, and another who just got her diagnosis. A friend with kidney disease who is waiting for a transplant from her sister, who the tests are showing may also have kidney disease.

I light a candle for them every week, but I can't even keep them all in my mind at the same time.

I pray for their health, for their strength, for them to be surrounded by love and light. I hope someone is listening...

Happy birthday

On the hunt in the back yard!
Originally uploaded by gr8what

Tizi-n-Tichka were born one year ago today! Happy birthday little puppies! We love them so much!

Here is a picture of them the day we got them, exploring the back yard for the first time!

Hassled and Harried

Too much work today, too much to do, too much to think about.

Then off to a couple of back to back meetings at FCC. Found myself signing up for more things to do, how can that be, I am dragging already.

But I am also feeling supported and appreciated there so it feels OK.

It is still beyond imagining that I am part of a church. If I think about it, I don't believe it. But I like these people. I like the intentional way they live, and the way they grapple with the hard stuff. I like their rigorous thinking and the way they value each other.

Yael told a story about being in Israel and taking a boat from one side of the Red Sea to the other with a bunch of Anglican priests. In the middle of the sea, they stopped the boat and sat there praying for a very long time. I love that image of the still, quiet sea in the middle of the water.

Perhaps that is where Gail and I are right now. We have left one bank of the sea and are halfway to the other side. And it is still here now, although we know it will be chaotic when we get to the other side.

We should appreciate this quiet time while we have it!

Daylight Savings Time

The clock turned Sunday night, and we had enough daylight in the morning to take the pups on a walk. It was so nice. We walked down the street and through a rural area, around to the chicken coop. There are about 10 chickens in there, and they have gotten very big since we last saw them about three months ago. We always stop there and have the dogs quietly watch them. I toss them a little dog food, and they cluck around looking for it. I think it is good training for the dogs to sit there quietly looking at the hens.

Gail sent me a note thanking me for getting her to get up and walk them. I told her the best part of the walk is spending time with her.

We are such mooshes!

Madrigal Dinner Gown

Madrigal Dinner Gown
Originally uploaded by gr8what

Gail has been busily working her little fingers to the bone sewing new dresses for us for the upcoming Madrigal Dinner. Hers is green and mine is red, and they are both incredibly splendiferous!

Last year at this time, we weren't sure we would be here for the Madrigal Dinner, and here we are again. We still hope we won't be here for it. Hope springs eternal.

In today's newspaper, there was a story about two local teenagers killed in a car accident. As sad as that is, we can't help but hoping that their families are considering donating their organs.

Moony

We went for a walk with Moony today. It was so good to see her. She had a bone marrow transplant which almost killed her. She was the sickest person I have ever known, but she did survive it. She and Gail talked a lot about being sick and recovering, and going through transplants. It was a good walk.

Gail is a little less scared of the cardiac catheter test. She talked with me about it and with a friend of hers at work, who told her, "ohhhhh, it'll be OK."

Friends are good.

More tests

So we talked to the transplant coordinator about the tests, and she will need to have a cardiac catheter test again.

Gail is VERY unhappy and scared about this. It hurt last time, and she is afraid of the pain. And she is afraid that they will have to do some procedure like they did last time.

We did clarify that the test itself, the cardiac cath, will not take her off of the active transplant list. She will only come off the list if they have to do a procedure on her, insert a stent or a balloon.

Hopefully, she will be in good shape and they won't have to do anything but go in there and look around and then stamp her Grade A, ready to go.

She thinks she will have to stay overnight in the hospital, and she is very scared about that too. I told her all her friends will come in and visit her, and we'll have a party. I have to figure out how I can smuggle the puppies in to the cardiac ward. Tricky, very tricky.

We didn't think we would have to do this again.

Nephrologist Visit

Gail and I met with her nephrologis (kidney doctor) yesterday for her regular monthly visit. Everything looks good. All her blood work is good, her blood pressure is OK.

Her doc's only concern is that Gail's catheter last until she gets the transplant. When the surgeon installed it, he said that the catheters are designed to last a couple of months, but he knew a guy who had one for four years.

The main concern is infection since it is a straight tube into her heart. Gail is 100% good in avoiding infection. She NEVER gets it wet. You can imagine how hard it is to go almost a year without ever getting the upper right quadrant of your torso wet. But she is adamant about it, thank goodness. I don't know that I could be as totally careful about that as she is.

So we aren't worried about infection. There is a possibility that the tube can cause a narrowing of the vein. This is serious because it is permanent damage that isn't resolved by just removing the catheter. The signs to watch for are that the arm gets swollen because fluid isn't draining out through the vein. So now I have something else to worry about.

Gail had the surgery and began dialysis on December 13th. The insurance coverage was authorized for a year, so that needs to be reinstated. Her transplant coordinator is taking care of that.

But her doctor reminded her that she had to take a bunch of tests last year before they would certify her to the transplant list. She recommended that we call them and find out if additional tests will be required to keep her on the list past the one year anniversary. If so, we will want to get them done before hand so that she doesn't spend time off the transplant list.

Gail is too scared to talk to her coordinator about this, so I have been delegated to do so.

She and I are very different about some things, and this is one of them. I crave as much information as I can get, and she feels safer not knowing. So talking to her coordinator about the tests is one way I can help out.

In a seasonally appropriate ghoulish aside, Halloween is a time of lots of drinking and driving. Maybe a kidney/pancreas will come available that is just her type!

Update

Gail talked to her transplant coordinator yesterday. He said she is at the top of the list. Yawn.

Actually, we try to ask him more questions every time we call him. This time he said there is one man on the A blood type list ahead of her on the regional list.

She asked him if they have been doing any kidney/pancreas transplants, and he said they did one a couple of weeks ago. So at least there is movement on the list.

He also said that someone got called in for a transplant that didn't work out, so they sent him home without a new kidney. As much of a drag as that would be, I kind of wouldn't mind having a trial run. It has been a long time since we talked to the transplant center about what is going to happen. My memory about the details has dimmed a little over the past 11 months.

So this is positive news. We were feeling a little jaded for the last few months, not really expecting the call. But now we are a little edgier.

We are going to a Halloween party tonight. Our plan is to dress up in hospital scrubs and go as a kidney donor and recipient. We thought about using this costume last year, but Gail was too tender to do it. This year she is up for it, so that is probably a good sign as well.

I'll try to get a picture of us in our costumes and post it.

Nightmare

The other night, Gail woke me up in the middle of the night saying that she thought her blood sugar was low, and she had had a really bad nightmare. I rationally suggested that she go in the bathroom and check her blood sugar, but she was too scared to get out of bed because "they" might get her.

I got her test kit and she was right. Her blood sugar was 42. She wasn't showing any of the normal signs (sweating, clammy, etc), so it was kind of a surprise. She ate some glucose tablets, and got her blood sugar up where it should be.

But she was still scared from her nightmare. She was too scared to tell me what she had been dreaming. I talked to her and sang her a little bit from Mendellsohn's Elijah, "He watching over Israel slumbers not, nor sleeps" (which is a comforting sort of song), and she finally got back to sleep.

The next day she told me that she had been dreaming that she was in a place where they were doing horrible horrible medical experiments on people and they were trying to get her.

Poor sweetie. Everything looks fine on the surface, but underneath it all, there is so much dread and fear roiling around.

Tired

I am tired. I am tired of Gail being on dialysis. I am tired of waiting for the call from the transplant center. I am tired of constantly having to plan around dialysis and needing to be close to San Francisco.

We called the transplant coordinator, who is very nice on the phone. He told us, again, that she is at the top of the list and the call could come any day.

They have been saying that for ten months.

We understand that it is a matter of when appropriate organs become available, and that there is nothing anyone can do about making it happen sooner. But it is still hard.

I keep a suitcase in the car with several days clothes to wear in San Francisco when she gets called. Soon I am going to have to remove the warm weather clothing and replace it with cold weather clothes. A sad way to mark the changing of the seasons.

If we haven't had the call by December 13th, it will have been a year. That will be a disturbing anniversary. I better plan something wonderful to do with her.

On the other hand, Gail's health is good, her blood tests are good, the puppies are good, and we are happy. So don't get the idea that things are morose around here. All we have to do is play with the pups for a while, and everything is better! (but I'm still tired).